assume:

sleepovers when i’m 10: omg guys we’re going to sTAY UP ALL NIGHT AND PARTY!!!!

sleepovers when i’m 15: if you fucking make a sound after midnight you’re leaving

cherrylemonades:

my dad just recently learned about “omg”

cherrylemonades:

my dad just recently learned about “omg”

whatslifewithoutfandoms:

tortillah:

remember when zack and cody entered a parallel universe

and london was smart

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and maddie was dumb

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and esteban was a woman

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so basically they were their stereotypes

sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”

sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”

blah-blahs:

This guy wants to be mad but can’t

tennants-hair:

tennants-hair:

how come john lennon was shot by a fan and robin thicke still lives

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yes hello police i would like to report SHOTS FIRED

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

otarrato:

octoberwaffle:

I got bored at work.

THE NIDORANS

this is the best thing ever oh my GOD

mpreg-tony:

kate-wisehart:

narwhalslaughingalonewithscience:

becausebirds:

How my Red-tailed Hawk says hello. x

Fun fact: red-tailed hawk calls often replace bald eagle calls in movies and the like. Probably because the bald eagle actually sounds like this

Oh my god that eagle in the second link oh my god

Hawk: Majestic screeching
Eagle: Adorable chirping

Reblog this if you have ever attempted any of the following while you were alone:

wise-girl-and-seaweed-brain:

xdominoe:

loki-is-our-god:

castiel-homo-of-the-lord:

vorticity007:

zombieirish:


-Waterbending

-Earthbending

-Firebending

-Airbending

-Using the force

-Telekenisis

-Flying

-The Matrix 

-Alchemy

-Kamehameha

-Going Super Saiyan

-Jutsu Hand Signs

-Spells from Harry Potter

-Shapeshifting

-Breaking the 66 seals

-Opening purgartory

-Turning into a green rage monster

-Being a synthesized voice program

-Getting a bunch of bitches to kneel

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Bitch please I do these in public