PERFECTION
ABSOLUTE PERFECTION
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
Anonymous asked you: You should make a picture of Thor hugging Loki and singing Set Fire to the Rain.
what is going on in my inbox
CHECK 1 CHECK 1-2 CHECK 3. YOU READY FOR SOME AMON SHIT?
SCREECHIN THAT DAMON THOMPSON-LIKE ANTI SHIT.
FIRST OFF I’MA SAY; IF YOU’RE A BENDER I’LL BE YOUR ENDER
MURDER BE MY GAME AND THE AVATAR I’LL MAIM
CAUSE I’M LOWER CLASS BUT RISING FAST GONNA MAKE IT LAST.
MY VOICE BE HITTING THE MIC WITH A REBELS RASP THROUGH MY MASK
PUTTING YOUR OFFICIALS IN FEAR CAUSE THEY KNOW CHANGE IS NEAR.
WALKING INTO YOUR GOVERNMENT TAKING OVER CAUSE IT’S CROOKED
YOU ABUSED YOUR POWER AND POSITION SO I CAME IN AND TOOK IT.
TRYIN TO RAISE UP THE PLEBEIAN TO RISE, REVOLT WITH A COLT, REBEL,
FUCK THE SYSTEM, SEND THE POWERED TO THEIR GRAVE IN HELL.
TEACH THE REST HOW THEY SHOULD BEHAVE
GONNA ROLL THROUGH THIS CITY LIKE A TIDAL WAVE.
AND YOU MAY BE WATER TRIBE, BUT WE’LL SEE THAT YOU’RE “OUT”.
*drops mic descends back into stage*
OUICK! SOMEONE MAKE A KORRA RAP RESPONSE! I WANT TO SEE THIS RAP BATTLE! IT SHOULD BE A THING! D8
oky I’ll do my best!!!
LOOK MOTHERFUCKER I’M THE AVATAR
I’VE GOT MORE RHYMES THAN I’VE GOT BATTLESCARS
WHAT YOU WANNA PLAY? COME BRING IT PUNK
I’LL FLAY YOU ALIVE, BEND YOUR BLOOD, AND LEAVE YOUR BODY IN MY TRUNK
SHIT! AMON, YOU LOOK SCARED, WHAT, CAN’T STAND STEADY?
TAKE OFF THE MASK BITCH AND COME FIGHT ME ALREADY
MY NAME IS KORRA FROM THE WATER TRIBE
I’VE BEEN BENDING FIRE, EARTH AND WATER SINCE I WAS FUCKING FIVE
EVERYONE SAYS I WAS BORN LUCKY AND BITCH YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE
PEACE
oh my LSKDHGSKGHRCPD R-R-RCPD
TIME TO SHUT DOWN THIS ACT BEFORE YOU UP THE ANTE
I’M NOT TAKING ANY SHIT FROM REBELS OR A VIGILANTE
DON’T THINK YOUR RABBLE-ROUSING OR SMASHING UP SHOPS
JUST BRING THE CROWDS — YOU BRING THE METALBENDING COPSTHE AVATAR HUH? CUTE. BUT TO ME THAT MEANS DIDDLY
CLEAN UP YOUR TEENAGE ACT AND GET OUT OF MY CITY
AND DON’T THINK I WON’T BE WATCHIN YOU WITH MY EYES
I’M CHIEF OF POLICE YOU BEST RECOGNIZE
BITCH-ASS POSER WANNABES I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND
THE NAME IS BEIFONG I GOT SIX FINGERS ON ONE HAND
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THIS IS THE GREATEST FANDOM EVER. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES.
- HOL UP HOL UP HOL UP LIN!!! YOU BEST STEP OFF MY PUPIL!! AYO! AYO JINORA D-D-D-DROP THE BEAT!
- NOW FIRST THINGS FIRST I’LL BEND THE AIR, THEN IMMA START ROCKING BLUE TATS AND NO HAIR.
- CAUSE THATS WHAT A MUTHFUCKIN AIRBENDER DO.
- JINORA,MEELO, IKKI, PEMA DATS MY AIRBENDER CREW.
- LIN MAD CAUSE I GOT MORE FLOW THAN A WATERBENDA,
- AMON U MAD CAUSE THERE AINT NOBODY TO DEFEND YA?
- ILL RUN OVER ALL OF YA WHILE I RIDE MY BISON.
- STUNTIN LIKE MY DADDY, BUT YALL BITCHES IS MY SONS.
- NEXT TIME YOU STEP TO ME, BEST BE DISCREET.
- UNDERSTAND WE FLY HIGH, WE BE THE LEAF.
#TENZOUT
MIC CHECK 1,2,1,2
YOU READY, ITS ME
THAT’S RIGHT BOLIN
YOU SEE ME ROLL IN
EQUALISTS? AVATAR? PUH-LEASE.
REPPIN’ THE REPUBLIC CITY STREETS
WITH THEM LADIES WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGER
IMMA FUCK YOU UP GOOD
MAKE THE PROBENDING PAIN LINGER
BITCH, WHAT YOU SAY?
THINK YOU CAN WIN
IMMA KICK YO ASS RIGHT OFF ZONE THREE
HOPE YOU CAN SWIM
It seems as though you bitches have come for not only my son, but the new avatar as well. Well You all can Pipe down because the HBIC Has entered the Igloo. Peep My Flow.
UH, UH, YEAH, CHECK IT
NOW THE QUEEN REALLY NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION
AMON, HONEY HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LIPOSUCTION?
YOUR HEAD’S GOTTEN BIG, THOUGH YOUR BRAIN IS SMALL
I’LL BLOODBEND YOUR TRIFLIN ASS UP A WALL
A REAL OG IS HERE TO TELL
YOU POSERS TO STEP OFF CAUSE IM RAISIN HELL
YOU CAME FOR MY SON AND THE AVATAR TOO?
NEED I REMIND YOU I’VE SAVED THE WORLD BOO.
WATERTRIBE IN THE HOUSE, YOU BITCHES ARE SWEET
NOW BOW TO THE QUEEN AND GROVEL AT MY FEET.
I believe the young ones say “You just got served”
Tenzin fetch my robe
I AM ACTUALLY CACKLING RIGHT NOW. WHAT EVEN. HOW DO AIR?
What?! No, Bolin, get off! I told you, I’m not doing this. Hey, stop push -
AH, HI THERE. MY NAME IS MAKO, I GUESS
I’M THE CAPTAIN OF THE FIRE FERRETS
WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE PRACTICING (HONESTLY, BOLIN)
BUT INSTEAD I GUESS WE’RE ACTING LIKE THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO WIN
NOT COOL, YOU GUYS. COME ON, LET’S JUST GO BACK
RUNNIN’ OUT OF TIME, WE GOTTA PICK UP THE SLACK
KORRA NEEDS THE RULES, SHE DOESN’T PLAY BY THE BOOK
WE’RE DEEP IN TROUBLE ‘CAUSE OF FUCKING HASOOK
SO WE’VE GOTTA WORK AND WORK UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT
AND WIN EACH AND EVERY SINGLE PROBENDING FIGHT
RAP BATTLES? PLEASE. IT’S THE CHAMPIONSHIP THAT MATTERS
AND WE REALLY NEED THAT PRIZE MONEY TO MAKE OUT POCKETS FATTER.
Mako out. Let’s go through those drills again.
NOW IT SEEMS THAT YOU BITCHES DON’T REALLY GET IT
CUZ I’M THE ONLY ONE WITH THE LITERACY TO WIN IT
MY DAD’S A COUNCILMAN AND MY G-PA’S THE AVATAR
BUT SOME OF YOU MUST THINK THAT DON’T GET ME VERY FAR
I SNEAK INTO THE CLUBS WITH MY AIRBENDING SKILL
AND PICK UP YOUR MIC AND BRING DOWN THE KILL
AIRBENDING… THERE ISN’T MUCH BETTER
CUZ I CAN GO AROUND AND FUCK WITH THE WEATHER
THE WIND, A TORNADO, A MOTHERFUCKEN HURRICANE
THEN MY GRAN-GRAN CAN COME AND BRING DOWN A RAIN
MY BROTHER AND SISTER, WE ALL LEARN FROM OUR DAD
BUT THOSE HOES GO AROUND AND ACT REALLY BAD
CUZ I AM THE BEST FEMALE AIRBENDER THERE EVER WAS
HELL, MY GREAT AUNT LIN RUNS THE METALBENDIN’ FUZZ
I GOT CONNECTIONS, THERE AIN’T NO DENYIN’
CUZ MY G-PA’S REINCARNATION RUNS AROUND TO KEEP PEEPS FROM DYIN’
FROM THE EQUALISTS - THOSE MUTHERFUCKEN HOES
TRYIN’ TO RUN AROUND AND FUCK UP MY BENDIN’ BROS
AMON - NOW HE’S A FREAKIN’ TROLL
HIDIN’ UNDER THAT STUPID MASK TO KEEP HIM ON A ROLL
OF SECRECY – HE ISN’T ALL THAT GOOD
OF KEEPIN’ HIS DARK PLANS OUT OF THE R.C. HOOD
SEE? JINORA’S GOT THE KNOW HOW
TO GO IN AND KICK SOME NON-BENDER FACIAL BROW
SO NOW YOU GOT IT? I RUN THESE PREMISES
BUT IF YOU NEED MY HELP…
oH MY GOD
This is the best thing there ever was.
You see these girls? These are some of the most badass, complex characters in the history of animation. From the bamf we hail as Korra, to the tragically twisted Azula, these girls are not to be messed with. They have faced enemies, espionage, and mastered their fighting techniques, and the oldest of them is only seventeen. Thank you Mike and Bryan, for creating fantastic female characters and role models.
